Ryan is one of the smartest and most hard working guys I’ve ever met and his hard work paid off for him by taking him from being relatively nervous and hesitant at the start of the course to now having virtually unmatched fearlessness in his ability to approach almost any women in almost any situation.
Here’s my recent interview with Ryan where he discusses his Pickup and Dating journey so far, reviews School of Attraction’s “Sincere Seduction Intensive” course and gives some valuable insights into how others can achieve similar levels of fearlessness as him…
DayGameAdam: “Duck” is an interesting nickname to have, why did you pick that name and what does it represent about you?
Actually, I just chose the first thing that came to my mind when I signed up for the Masculine Confidence Intensive course because I was so motivated to get all the admin out of the way so I could focus on learning and taking action. It’s been a weakness of mine in the past to think too much, and act too little. So I just went with whatever came up first. But in hindsight, it wasn’t such a bad choice. Everybody else seems to have very “bad-ass” names, whereas mine is more true to my personality. I am the ugly duckling in terms of how much I have to learn, but I’ll get there.
DayGameAdam: How would you describe your previous experience with women prior to joining School of Attraction’s Masculine Confidence Intensive course?
Very limited, to the point where I’m embarrassed. I was always the shy guy in high school, and I also didn’t think very much of myself. I never thought I had what it takes to be good enough for a woman. I was hard on myself for not having the best body and things like this. I was very picky about my flaws, and I was a perfectionist about everything. So I basically steered clear of women, I was just the really nice guy. In fact, when women would get to know me better, a lot of them would make a move on me because they saw the qualities that I had, but I just didn’t have the leadership or self-belief to respond. I also thought they were just desperate for going for someone like me because I didn’t agree that I was high value.
DayGameAdam: How did you first hear about School of Attraction?
I joined SydneySarge, and then started noticing posts by DJ DANTE (School of Attraction Head Coach, Damien Diecke). I really liked the these posts because they were completely different to conventional pickup material. I had read “The Game”, but when I implemented it, I ended up feeling like crap and also hurting a few women. It didn’t get me anywhere, and even if it did, I didn’t like the way it was getting me there. I felt terrible with myself. It wasn’t worth it. So after sending an email to Damien, I checked out his website. That’s when I was really impressed. I saw the SOA Honour Code and also the Video section. After checking out these two sections of the website, I knew that I’d definitely join SOA.
DayGameAdam: What was your main reason for you wanting to enrol in School of Attraction’s Masculine Confidence Intensive course?
My reason for joining was because I really wanted to change and become a more confident version of myself. I knew that I could attract women, I know I’m a decent guy, so I didn’t want to change my personality. I wanted to attract women who liked me. So I just needed the guts to be ok with showing women who I was. That’s what I got from SOA. This is worth so much more than gimmicks which will only work for a very narrow range of people who have that type of specific personality.
DayGameAdam: How would you describe how you felt before your first practical session? I imagine you were nervous and excited yes? How did that session go for you?
I pretended to be ok. But really, I was really not ok. I was shaking, shivering, and I actually felt like throwing up (I know that sounds bad, but it’s the truth). I couldn’t think properly. And I almost fainted when I did my first approach. But toward the end of the practical, I just had the awesome wave of excitement flow over my body. I felt really proud at what I had just done. I had started to enter into a league of actions which not many guys can do.
DayGameAdam: How would you describe your journey over the remainder of the Masculine Confidence Intensive course? What expectations did you have for yourself and did you exceed them?
I just wanted to be able to approach women by myself, and number close by myself, by the end of the course. I thought that if I could get rid of my fears of approaching, and build enough rapport to get numbers, then I would just be crazy happy. It’s now the end of the Masculine Confidence Intensive course for me, and I can happily say that I have been able to approach and number close by myself. I reached my goals. And what’s more, I have approached women in the most crazy situations. I have really become fearless. But now that I think about it, I have also been on a few instant dates, second, and third dates. I guess that I have exceeded my expectations in that sense, I never thought that would be possible from meeting someone on the street. I have just become a really confident guy.
Now if you’re reading this and thinking, well that’s not really impressive, you have to know where I have come from, not how far I have come. For the past two years of my life, I have been literally socially isolated because of a medical condition, and specifically, the drugs they put me to correct my condition changed my appearance drastically. My face was the size of a watermelon, I was 20 kilos overweight (I have the stretchmarks and photos to prove), the medication also took away my ability to speak and think properly. I only had 2 friends over the past 2 years. And from me to go from being socially isolated, and out of shape both physically and mentally, to being able to get the contact details of girls who look like supermodels on the street, or in even in girls shops, then you can see why I’m just really happy and excited. And when I say socially isolated, I mean it. I remember crying like a baby for 10 minutes in front of my doctor to get me off that medication so that I could just have a chance to fight to get my body back and then get out there and meet people again. I cried so badly that they actually hospitalised me and immediately started to take the drugs away.
Without School of Attraction’s Masculine Confidence Intensive course, I wouldn’t have been able to do all this so quickly, or smoothly. I still have tons to learn, but SOA has given me the ability to take it from here and continue my development because I can approach by myself now. Without fail, I approach women every week, and I also get a little better at the entire process, every week. Importantly, now I’m starting to have a lot more fun, whereas before I’d be nervous and see it as a job. I’m also getting more dates and results these days because I’m improving, so this also makes it easier to keep going.
DayGameAdam: One thing that I was really impressed about your progress was the “fearlessness” that you mentioned earlier whereby towards the end of the Masculine Confidence Intensive course, you were able to approach literally any woman in literally any situation. What do you think the key to becoming so fearless is?
STEP 1: Get help from other people who will hold you accountable and push you into sets if you chicken out. Go out with other guys from SOA.
STEP 2: Get your mind right. Discover out the way you think. Find out the thoughts that flow through you mind. Write them down on paper. Challenge them, change them.
Here is an example of what I caught myself thinking, and how I changed it:
“I don’t want to approach because what if I get rejected?”
Point 1: I’m only scared because I don’t know the girls yet. But I get accepted 9 times out of 10 times because girls absolutely love compliments. They walk away literally skipping. Most girls also respect guys who approach properly because it takes huge confidence and hardly any guys do it.
Point 2: There isn’t actually any problem with rejection because why should I continue to desire someone who doesn’t like who I am when there are others who will? I don’t want the approval of every girl because I don’t want to constantly push to be loved. And everyone is unique so some guys will attract girls that I can’t and vice versa.
“What if other people see me approaching and being rejected?”
It doesn’t matter if people see me being rejected. I don’t need the approval of everyone. Why should I let others stop me from achieving my goals? And who will remember after a few minutes? Most people won’t even notice because they will be too busy. And they probably won’t even be able to tell what I’m doing.
“What if I run out of things to say or I’m just not compatible with her?”
I don’t have to change my core personality or values because my aim is not to attract or impress every woman. Winning over girls by manipulation is empty. I want a girl who supports and likes me as I am. My test is whether a girl still shows an interest and we have chemistry when I’m not purposely trying to impress.
“That girl is WAY too attractive to approach.”
I can approach attractive women because that is only my perception. Whoever I think is attractive will be average to someone else. And underneath they are only human and so they have exactly the same needs. I’ve been treated really well by some hot girls and badly by some ugly girls, and vice versa.
“I can’t approach that girl because she is sitting down/in a girls store etc…”
My thoughts about an approach are irrelevant. I try to analyse girls and the situation to determine if I should approach, but my mind always creates excuses. But these excuses are not reality but simply my view. I know because when I have just approached anyway, these thoughts have proven unreliable and inaccurate, because I have still number closed. If she is cute, and not with a guy, I can approach.
“I don’t feel right today, I’m just not motivated. I need to wait until I feel good and happy about this.”
Point 1: I can still approach despite low motivation. My lack of state is only an illusion. I’ll never feel motivated, right, or happy before an approach because these states are only created by action and not prior to action – so be completely cool with feeling terrible when you first start to approach, and then just be amazed at how well the rest of your day pans out.”
Point 2: Whatever is worthwhile is never easy to get. If it’s hard, then I’m on the right track. If I won without a fight, life would be pointless and dull. I actually need challenges. I might as well also just enjoy this entire process because I can’t ever run away since the rule for anything in life will always be “no pain, no gain”.
STEP 3: Be consistent, practice a little every day, and you will become desensitised. Even if you can only afford to do a single set, just get blown out if you need to.
STEP 4: Really believe in yourself. This is perhaps one of the most important steps. Once you start getting dates, you have to know and believe in your value as a complete person. Why are you awesome? Why are you worthy? What are your strengths?
DayGameAdam: How would your describe your mindset now when you see a beautiful girl you want to talk to? What should other guys who want to emulate your ability to approach women be thinking to help then achieve similar fearlessness?
This is my mindset:
I can never lose when I choose to approach because I always gain experience, my chance of success also accumulates with each attempt, and to overcome the worst rejections or dead-ends has been a cakewalk in comparison to live with not trying. Anything is better than not approaching because that is always an automatic loss.
And also, with experience, guys will just start to see how harmless this whole process really is, and as soon as that happens, fun starts to creep in, and when that happens, you will really start to be on the right track. You will talk to beautiful women because you also love it, not because you have to. It never really works well when you have to push yourself out of negative things to approach, for example, non approaches will be shot, or have to do push ups, or are losers etc. It works very well when you just approach because you’re so happy at what is possible, and you’re just happy with yourself and your life.
DayGameAdam: You mentioned that you exceeded your goals of being able to approach, attract and date beautiful girls, what were some of your specific proudest moment and memories of some of your most memorable interactions with women?
I have a lot actually. But perhaps one of the best was stopping two very attractive (and also very high value) women on the street and scoring an instant date with them to walk over the Sydney Harbour Bridge with them, and this was on a mentor session as well, so it really helped my buddy progress and see what was possible. He came in and winged me, and I think that gave him tons of confidence. I built so much rapport that one of the girls REALLY liked me, and constantly messaged me, so I hung out with her quite a few times after that day as well.
DayGameAdam: What tips and advice do you have for other guys just starting out on their pickup journey? What things should they do to increase their chances of success?
The single main thing you can do to improve, especially if you’re just starting out, is to get help from guys who know what they are doing. For School of Attraction students – just have an open mind, and listen to feedback from the SOA coaches. It can be a real shock sometimes, but all my feedback has been spot on, and once I’ve changed it, I got better results. Also, check out the articles and videos on the website. That was a huge help for me.
DayGameAdam: I know you recently started mentoring other students as part of SOA’s mentoring program. How did you find that experience to be and do you think it helped strengthen what you had learned in the MCI course by teaching it to others?
The mentoring was just really rewarding. I left with a huge smile on my face, because I could just tell I had made a difference. And it also reinforced what I had learnt in my MCI course so far too. It’s just a win/win situation. It was like a mini-refresher. By teaching, you really learn the material more for yourself. Also, any set that my buddies didn’t want to do, I went and did myself. It really forced me to move up to a higher level and I surprised myself at how I could just step up when needed. I performed better when I was out by myself as a result.
For School of Attraction students who would like to read more about Ryan’s journey, his journal is located HERE
For non School of Attraction members who are interested in viewing the videos, articles and courses that Ryan mentions above, please visit: www.schoolofattraction.com.au
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